Aishiteru

                I started not believing in fairy tales, the moment I realized that happy endings don’t always exist after all I’m not a princess nor it is possible for me to find a prince. I know perfection is a myth for I keep on falling and breaking but I know that no matter how unending my downfall is I can still go on as long as I move forward. I know that dreams are just pigment of my imagination and that I should wake up and face the reality at front. At first, we tend to know about the impossible and believe on it until we realized how difficult and impractical it is so we see the truth and know that life can be wicked but it is great.

                As a child who always thought how wonderful the world is, I never thought that there is such thing as horrifying around me. Until I grow older and faces them on my way, I realized how imperfect and crazy it is to live but on the same time being alive is a gift, a chance, a blessing meaning it is something that means a lot.

                With maturity comes more understanding about the meaning of once presence in this world we call earth. Maybe, one of those things which is closely important as life itself is love. I always find it odd that the hardest things in this world to figure are four-letter words like life, love, evil, pain, hate and etc. But I believe that the next important thing to life is love and as human, it troubles us a lot.

                Loving is both a blessing and curse. It can make or break people. In a simple sense just like anything in this world, love is like a double-sided sword whether we accept it or not. It can provide both positive and negative effect in a person or both persons involved.

                I always consider love as a mystery that is so present but hard to figure out. I had my fair share of experiencing how to fall in love, be in love and fall out of it. Young as I may but I know everyone that have undergone the journey of love have done those things. The butterflies and sparks of electricity in the beginning as you plunge in the adventure of love, the happiness and hardships of staying on that so called relationship and of course the worse endings that pains. But no matter how repetitive love can be, we people don’t give up on it for we know that in time that one special person will come and complete you as a person, finally he or she will conclude your expedition alone for one will become two and eventually be one in heart.

                No age, no status, no standards, I mean nothing qualifies as a perfect love or an ideal partner. It can come in the moment least expected to anybody. Thus, no wonder, I had my fair share of it. The experiences I have are learning and memories that I will always remember but how long or short the relationship have been does not assure the probability of a successful bond between two people. They say that loving somebody is giving that someone the right to hurt you. Indeed, it happens, painful is not enough to describe the feeling for it feels like hell but instead of damaging yourself, you need to learn to accept the ugly truth and move on because when a door closes, a window opens. End of love is a chance for new beginnings in romance.

                Relationships come and go but the feeling of being in love will always remind you of how great love is. I have fall in and out of love with a guy for a million times. I have been hurt, lied, angered and other damaging stuff had happened but still I am an absolute believer of love and is always open minded about it. Indeed, I have my fears but I am weak to ignore the feeling. If blood allows us to live, the feeling of love keeps us going. I was so young when I allowed myself to enter the portal of romance which turned into a horrible fiction but I believe that with age comes change and with change come growth. But as we grow older, things become more complicated to be handled but it should not be a hindrance to anyone.

                I never thought I would say goodbye to you for I have thought that I will forever share life with you. I don’t know what happen between us but one thing I’m sure is that it’s about time we let go and move forward. God knows how hard I tried to keep the relationship work but shit happens which could not be stopped, ignored and eventually it damages. Saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do especially to somebody you love and you have considered important but let us not ignore the fact that it is not working anymore. It pains me, everything that is happening but staying in the relationship won’t solve the glitch but will make it worse. Before we destroy each other more, I guess it is about time to let go and set free each other. You will be always special to me and it sadden me that it was not a happy ending for both of us but eventually we will have that so called ending but sadly not with each other but with different people.

                People always see me so strong but they don’t know how weak I am especially when we talk about emotions and feelings. I have tried to make sense of everything, indeed I could not disregard the truth that I am truly a thinker. I wanted to say it and explain stuff personally but it is impossible but I hope that we both understand and agree, I wish you all the best in life especially the happiness that you truly deserve. I apologize for everything especially for giving you miseries and I hope in time we learn to forgive and forget and maybe just maybe we can be friends.

                Goodbyes are always hard but reality should be faced and not to be snub. For with acceptance, comes the urge and strength to move forward and continue with the unknown. In time, things will eventually make sense and will be better. Shit comes and go but we have one life to live so live it at the moment.